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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Turning Point

The year-end holiday is coming ! I just cant help thinking that i have finished my form 4, a year that is considered as " honeymoon". Everything comes and goes so fast. 2010 , I'm going to sit for SPM !

GOSH!!

Form 4 is really a special year. It is the turning point for me, from an unknown peasant to a "kind-of-famous" guy. This year was the greatest year that i have ever had. I am so lucky that my friends and family are always on my side throughout the year.

2009 teaches me about Power, Friendship, and Quota.

For the start of every year, the most exciting part of course is the annual meeting for the club and society. Everybody is striving for the power and also the ten marks for the co-curriculum. I admit that i am one of them, who desires for the position. But i am not that "out position"( change it to mandarin then you know the meaning) like the others. They teach me about how power is important to people and how power can affect people. Power, you are such a lure.



Until the middle of the year, I found out that what makes my life interesting are friends. They can make your life interesting in both good and also "not so good" way. Friends accompany you along the school life, help you when you are in difficulty and always give you support when you are down They send a nudge to you when you found out that MSN is extremely boring, they send a message to you when they receive the greatest gossip, they drop a line to you when they need your help. I always found out that I am happy when other ask for my help. This shows that how you are significant in one's perspective. However, they can make your head spin round and round when they transform to be the most dangerous ever weapon. They kill you undetectably until you die and groan in blood. That's why i like friends, they decorate my life with ups and downs and it is no more monotonous. So, thank good friends and also those who had gone bad.


Throughout the year, I do not think I am the luckiest but still a lucky boy. But what is the measurement for luck?
According to some people :
I am lucky because
- winning lottery
- marry a prince or princess
- get late to school but not be scolded.
- etc
but in a student's context , lucky can be analyzed as
- getting an offer to a camp ( preferably out of town)
- being elected to be prefect
thus, luckiest carries the meaning of
- getting an offer to a camp ( preferably out of town) + being elected to be prefect.

SO, I am the luckiest?

I do not think so as i failed all the auditions except for the drama competition. What a shame?! Never mind, these are the loss for those who do not select me. ( LOL, this is the only way that i can think to make me feel better.) Whatever! Plus, I had went to the camps ( not the one that people will admire) in Tasoh for twice. It was not a good offer but i still accept it because I take them as god arrangements. And, finally I think I am going to Sabah ( fruit of suffering in Tasoh) but it appears to be hollow one week before I should go. Anyway, I was not sad because I thought I still got another offer to Labuan. But due to the H1N1 pandemic, it was rescheduled and the venue was changed to the peninsula. Reluctantly, I accept my third offer to Kuala Terengganu, where I had to stay in tent and the toilet electricity is not promising. I start questioning myself " am i lucky?"

Until the day I received the letter that I am going to Pontian for Perkampungan Penulis Muda, I am feeling better as it was going to be held in a resort. It was the gift from the hardships that i had gone through in Tasoh. 3 days after coming back from there, I am off to Kuantan for Kolokokium Kelab Pencegah Jenayah. Here, I meet the nicest friend ever that take you seriously as friends and put you at high position in their hearts. I was shocked when being asking to be the first to sign on their tshirt, name tag, their books and everything. Honestly, I do care about all of these small matters because they did reflect my weight in one's eyes.
What awaited me after all those sweet things was the scariest ever final year examination. But, surprisingly, it did not take much of my attraction. I miss most of the classes because of the camps. I know , somebody must be cursing me at the back, praying me for getting bad result as the karma of going out. And maybe their praying do come true, I am feeling like wanna go home when sitting for the papers especially for the BM. I really lose my enthusiasm to the exam. It's weird, but it's true.

" Luck got the quota". As the saying goes, I know that maybe i have used up some luck and it is time to refill some luck.


Saturday, October 3, 2009

alititude..

i wonder,
how big am i,
my ratio to the world,
is so insignificant,
like the dust,
at the corner of the wall.

i wonder,
where does the giant live?
why its eyes are always watching at me,
ominously.

i decide to go across the river,
i decide to climb over the mountain,
i decide to run to the other side of the rainbow,
to find the lingering truth.

perhaps,
i could be the one,
watching from the peak...

Saturday, September 26, 2009

FrienD InDeeD

he wants a friend
but he wants a girlfriend..

she hates a friend
but he wont be her boyfriend...

i am a friend...
but i am neither boyfriend or girlfriend...
i am just a friend
passing by your chapter of life
when you close it
i have to go~

Friday, September 11, 2009

What should i do if i lost you...


Today,
hearing ech
o from the past,
seeing you in the present,
i knew that it was time for me to let you go,
go away from my life to your life....

But,

what if i had misunderstood you, as an onlooker
i wondered,
i pondered,
falling into the valley of depression,
was the only thing you gave me.

I should call you when you turn away,
shout out your name ,
the name that i was so familiar with,

but so strange when it came to my throat,
my vision diminished...

That's not your name!
that's not your smile!
that's not your sincere voice, when you are talking to me,
that's not you
the one I loved to be with.


What should i do if i lost you?
I should answer this question before you left,
leaving me alone to deal with the question,
watching every step you walked a
way...