Appreciation~

You would never learn this word unless you have lost something...
As the time goes by, we gain something and of course, we lost something..
while I am tantalized by the new things gained, something seems to be leaving, secretly, unable to be aware of..

I am always told to appreciate the things that i own, but i never see them clearly before I lose them..I would never know their goods, their contributions, their cuteness, unless they are not by my side...

Maybe, it is the path of the life...

unsorted diary.. lolx...

Fire ! Fire! Fire!
There is what my teacher keep insisting in the first month i entered his class...
Few months has passed... But i think whenever I think about this teacher, i wont forget my writing on fire..

The fire alarm rang this morning.. Everybody was no in the "fire" mood at all, dragging their own heavy bodies, heading the school field at snail's pace.. I was running, at first, unexpectedly, rushing to the class to keep my container.. lolx.. After being nagging by my dear fellow, I went down the block, following the crowd to the field...

Sun was scorching hot, burning every cell of mine, mercilessly... I could feel that the melanin in my body is growing , just like the mushroom after the heavy downpour.. lolx... Wearing the super thick blazer, rate of perspiration was high enough to drench my shrits.. TOO SEXY TO BEHOLD...xDD...

Blazer was functionable in this hot day! It was what unexpected.. lol..
Most prefect took off their blazers for the use of blocking the sun ray..
me too, took off my blazer but lend it to a friend..

After few hours of torture, we were allowed to go back to our class... However, during the bio class, i found out that my NAME TAG HAS LOST! shit..
it was my first name tag and i loved it so much~~~~

Hoping someone to accompany to search for my name tag in the field but to no avail. What friends they are? ARGHhh..

Finally, the class was over and I rushed to the field to search my name tag... Alone, I realised that our school field was not that small .. I was too small in the big field..
I didnt know why, a sense of pathos surged through me.. Was it sympathy for myself? Among the verdant grass, i could not find my name tag, but a pair of disgusting socks..
Just as I was about to go back, he catches my attention.. I had never expect anyone will come through this way. I had never expect anyone will come to offer me their helping hands...

Nevertheless, he did.. just in the nick of time...
Honestly, it wasnt that touching but he just came in the right time, surprisingly, the moment that i feel hollow...

Again, if you ask me that am i sensitive?
maybe, it's true.. lolx.. i could be hurt too...
by words or by actions..
i could put up a brave front,
but,
i would rather hate you whenever i want...

and also,
the things that you have done for me,
I would really appreciate..
as long as my memory is fresh...... xD

ChatterBOX

Apparently, i was experiencing the lack of topic to chat.. Topic that aroused me much was always the same..
I find out that what I care so much is only myself.. haha..
whatever topic i was going to ask other is about myself... and i was always the one to answer my questions.. lolx.. super weirdo! wakaka...
but i enjoyed it!

how many days that we left to do so? spending time at the back of class, sitting like we were in kopitiam...

We talked, we laughed. We laughed, then we keep talking..

There is what I like.. Truthfully, the topic doesnt matter..

Once~ it passed through my mind...

it was a dejaru feeling....
but I could not tell...
Time flies and things change...
I dare not to believe there is eternity...
What should be left
What should be lifted...
There is no more boundary...

I wish it was true, sincerely...
but someone told me...
wishes always appear to be hollow,
especially in the wanted moment...

Between the lie and truth,
I would take the one that hurts better...

I like RANKING~

Ranking~
the issue that i hate but i am always eager to know the result...
it is so euphoric when it is revealed
yet like a drug that stirs up your mind, poison your soul, making you be so obsessed..

What is the use of ranking?
1. To find out that who is top on the list.
2. To find out that who is "missing" in the list.

Every time, everywhere, every single person ranks as they like..
Even today you are standing in front at the tuition center with your too-old-to-be-displayed white tee, you are being labeled by the ranks.. SO. ranking is like a shadow, following your every steps, tracking you like a skillful detective...

Ranking is a perfect pastime for the gossip queens and kings too.. Ranking needs sources ( as much as possible), needs discussion ( as long as you could) and critical analysis. It is like an experiment but we do not need a lab to do it. What we need is a big mouth and a caring heart which is always taking great care of the current issue happening around you. ( ranging from one get a boy friend to one change his/her facebook status).

What do we rank ?
1. The most good looking gal/guy
2. The most hardworking student
3. The most coquettish gal/guy
4. The pity gal/guy
5. The overall winner for the categories above..

They sound pretty boring for you but if you really try to make a rank, you would get more and more excited after positioning one after one in the "board". Ranking among friends is indeed a well social activity as you can communicate with your friends and learn to express your ideals well. You might give your very own opinion or realize that someone who is actually having the same thought as yours during the process.(Do it only after checking around and make sure that there is not any delicate flower around). Next, underpinning your hypothesis with your observation. A little hyperbole can actually boost up the storyline and spice it up, resulting some wonderful outcome that you can hardly imagine. Quoting is a nice way too if you know when to put a good quote. ( Start collecting the impressive quote would be a weapon for you).

Next, what should you do if you find out that you are not in the rank?
1. Try to improve your appearance.
2. Be more aggressive
3. Use harsh words at the very moment.
4. Poking someone head out of the blue
5. Releasing atomic bombs to the innocent.
6. Be an active member in group discussions.
7. Be an activist on Facebook.
8. Try to get some WOW-IS-IT-TRUE? stories.
9. Walking to and fro in front in front the panel of judges.
10. Be as emotional as you can exactly like you are having PMS.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION
1. OH MY GOD! I am ranked in the most annoying guy in my class?
Be cool and stay to be annoying. You are actually on the right path to be a the president. You got the talent to give some impacts to the others.

2. GOSH! Am i being discussed?
Relax. the one who is not being discussed is always more anxious than you are.

3. SHIT! I am being mocked!
I felt pity to you. But you already contribute your share to make the world happier. Bless you!

4. Is the rank accurate?
Do you think there is any accurate one around?

oh yea. In a nut shell, ranking is a process towards human civilization. Ranking create something to be the polemic so that your life would not be over monotonous until the suicide thought crop up your mind.

LONG LIVE RANKING!

The one i may want

I have wanted so many things,
They could be abstract or concrete..

But things change before I changed,
I changed and the things changed...
I fall and rose, but they just slipped away
unbeknown...

the one I want is not the one I could reach,
the one I want is not the one I could be,
the one I want is always away from me,
the one I want is in the others hands.

When i think i got it, it shatters my dream~
It looks shiner while it is with him........

Turning Point

The year-end holiday is coming ! I just cant help thinking that i have finished my form 4, a year that is considered as " honeymoon". Everything comes and goes so fast. 2010 , I'm going to sit for SPM !

GOSH!!

Form 4 is really a special year. It is the turning point for me, from an unknown peasant to a "kind-of-famous" guy. This year was the greatest year that i have ever had. I am so lucky that my friends and family are always on my side throughout the year.

2009 teaches me about Power, Friendship, and Quota.

For the start of every year, the most exciting part of course is the annual meeting for the club and society. Everybody is striving for the power and also the ten marks for the co-curriculum. I admit that i am one of them, who desires for the position. But i am not that "out position"( change it to mandarin then you know the meaning) like the others. They teach me about how power is important to people and how power can affect people. Power, you are such a lure.

Until the middle of the year, I found out that what makes my life interesting are friends. They can make your life interesting in both good and also "not so good" way. Friends accompany you along the school life, help you when you are in difficulty and always give you support when you are down They send a nudge to you when you found out that MSN is extremely boring, they send a message to you when they receive the greatest gossip, they drop a line to you when they need your help. I always found out that I am happy when other ask for my help. This shows that how you are significant in one's perspective. However, they can make your head spin round and round when they transform to be the most dangerous ever weapon. They kill you undetectably until you die and groan in blood. That's why i like friends, they decorate my life with ups and downs and it is no more monotonous. So, thank good friends and also those who had gone bad.

Throughout the year, I do not think I am the luckiest but still a lucky boy. But what is the measurement for luck?
According to some people :
I am lucky because
- winning lottery
- marry a prince or princess
- get late to school but not be scolded.
- etc
but in a student's context , lucky can be analyzed as
- getting an offer to a camp ( preferably out of town)
- being elected to be prefect
thus, luckiest carries the meaning of
- getting an offer to a camp ( preferably out of town) + being elected to be prefect.

SO, I am the luckiest?

I do not think so as i failed all the auditions except for the drama competition. What a shame?! Never mind, these are the loss for those who do not select me. ( LOL, this is the only way that i can think to make me feel better.) Whatever! Plus, I had went to the camps ( not the one that people will admire) in Tasoh for twice. It was not a good offer but i still accept it because I take them as god arrangements. And, finally I think I am going to Sabah ( fruit of suffering in Tasoh) but it appears to be hollow one week before I should go. Anyway, I was not sad because I thought I still got another offer to Labuan. But due to the H1N1 pandemic, it was rescheduled and the venue was changed to the peninsula. Reluctantly, I accept my third offer to Kuala Terengganu, where I had to stay in tent and the toilet electricity is not promising. I start questioning myself " am i lucky?"

Until the day I received the letter that I am going to Pontian for Perkampungan Penulis Muda, I am feeling better as it was going to be held in a resort. It was the gift from the hardships that i had gone through in Tasoh. 3 days after coming back from there, I am off to Kuantan for Kolokokium Kelab Pencegah Jenayah. Here, I meet the nicest friend ever that take you seriously as friends and put you at high position in their hearts. I was shocked when being asking to be the first to sign on their tshirt, name tag, their books and everything. Honestly, I do care about all of these small matters because they did reflect my weight in one's eyes.
What awaited me after all those sweet things was the scariest ever final year examination. But, surprisingly, it did not take much of my attraction. I miss most of the classes because of the camps. I know , somebody must be cursing me at the back, praying me for getting bad result as the karma of going out. And maybe their praying do come true, I am feeling like wanna go home when sitting for the papers especially for the BM. I really lose my enthusiasm to the exam. It's weird, but it's true.

" Luck got the quota". As the saying goes, I know that maybe i have used up some luck and it is time to refill some luck.