I am touched!!

guess what?
i had been imagined my life in college since Form 4..
but now?
I DONT FEEL LIKE I WANNA GO TO ANYWHERE ANYMORE!

if i enter college then i have to part with the sweetest, cutest, loveliest friends ever in the earth!
how sad is this? lolx...
meaning that
1. no more gossip together during the time when teacher is absent.
2. no more the scene we chat together during recess
3. no more chatting in the class during teacher teaching in front ( chris does it all the time xD)
4. no more complaining during the assembly in the hall that require us to stand for hours
5. no more complaining about our results after each exam
6. no more latest news about someone's crush
7. no more news after each tuition class.
8. no more flirting in the conversation.
9. no more stupid nonsense things in the conversation
10. no more the trip to the restaurant together
11. no more argument when carrying out something
12. no more the scene of everybody striking hard for exam
13. no more gathering together in pizza hut and KFC
14. no more crazy snapshots each time when someone brings a camera
15. no more sleepover in someone's house

oh dear! i couldnt imagine my life without it!

Continue...
F5 - a extremely cool party holding by a gang of extraordinary cute buddies!
the nicest ever party that moved my heart!
if you guys are more serious, i will cry my eyes out!
you guys are so sweet! love you guy so so SO MUCH....
i hope that 2ndary school never ends....
this is where i find a bunch of friends that bring a lots of meanings to my life....

I just feel like, wanna be with you ! Forever 16~?

Count down after count down.. finally it is still one hour left! cool man! im gonna turn 17.. 17 is such a significant year.. because it meant that i am adult! haha.. ( cause i can get my driving license)! whatever, driving really makes a guy looks cool!and mature.. especially in a big red Porsche! ( but i prefer Hummer! big and secure xD)

OH YEA.. REFLEKSI KENDIRI again! i only hate to do it during the stupid KH class! lolx...
hmmm.. 16 years sounds like kid but 17 years sounds like you are required to be responsible for the things you have done because you have GROWN UP! wow! GROWN UP is such a phrase that gonna burden me!!! watever.. i still wanna grow up, just now grow old.. hehe...

OH GOSH! 40 minutes left.. Facebook stole my 10 minutes.. hehe..

erm.. 16 is a meaningful age for me as i think i have re-branded myself.. erm.. i dunnoe in what way, but it was not the same.. lolx...the way i think, the way i do things, the way i have fun.. okey.. maybe it doesnt look like a 16 boy, but ,hey its my STYLE! xD

haha.. To my friends, really like you guys coz you guys really make my 16 years old more meaningful. Lol.. especially those who help me up in my difficult time.. the one who is willing to wait me until 7 something ...T.T the one who helps me up to search for my name tag.. the one who always being nice to me and respect me.. the one who always take me as the best listener.. the one who always disturb me.. the one who always comforting me.. the one who always do nothing but i always know that she will do something when i need .. and also those, done nothing but you just lighted up my life.. lolx....
when im old and my grandchildren get a chance to read this blog, they will definitely ask.. who is the one? hmm... maybe i cant remember too! so you guys must remember it!

There are still 25 minutes to go ....
i have been to Japan in my 16..
i have been to Terengganu in my 16..
i have been to Pontian in my 16...
i have been to KL in my 16...
i have been to Melaka in my 16..
i have been to Hatyai in my 16...
I have been to Kuantan in my 16...

oh yea, there are many places which have my 16-year-old footprints!!!

they will left a deep mark in my heart, 16 never dies!

Memories

Today is a special day for me...
according to the chinese calendar, i am officially 18. wow.. such an old guy ! xD
haha.. i was so shameless to tell everybody that today is my birthday but they seemed to have no emotion.. haiz.. only he said that wanna boil an egg for me! haha... what a touching action! ( although it was just a stupd joke) lolx...

Different from the other years, i kept repeating to remind people around me my birthday...
maybe it was just for fun but somehow maybe there was sense of fearfulness...

Not being afraid of being forgotten, but i was just worrying that who knows, it will be the last time for us be together~

Form1- there is nobody remember my birthday except 1 or 2..
Form 2- it comes better when someone crosses the road and rushes to buy some fruits for you before you get on the bus!
Form 3-oh yea.. puasa huh.. Laksa trip was nice..
Form 4- a sweet and a warm one but somebody was exam-ing

haha.. to be continue......

Days in Cacoon

Some spend days, some spend weeks, some spend months,
no matter how much time you spent,
still, we just waiting for the moment to break the cocoon..

until the favorable moment, i will penetrate it, to find myself, to see myself, to face the world with the whole new me, leaving the history in the history...

somehow, the days in cocoon will never be the history, it hides in the corner of your mind, popping up every now and then, reminding you, pain is gone...

staying inside the cocoon, darkness overwhelmed my heart. i am lost, easily being drifted by whatever simple failures which beat me mercilessly. Apparently, i am vulnerable , to everything which is not invited that intrudes my life unexpectedly... i it is too dark for me to see the changes undergoing... what reminds me with my presence is the failure.. it bangs me,whenever i fall, whenever i fail...

i wonder, is every single butterfly has undergone this stage? they are just so perfect that one would never relate them with the awful cocoon... or they are too perfect for the cocoon? perhaps..
cocoon always seems to be made for me, a fragile little flower~
can i be myself after my metamorphosis?

it is a doubt...

it will be cleared, when i break my cocoon, walking out with my heads up high, proudly announcing that " its me! a grown up me!"

A guy named ze chen..

1. He is always cheerful but sometimes can be very "windy"
2. He is patient but impatient towards nonsense.
3. You treat him good, he will treat you better.
4. He hates people who are being irresponsible and could be very demanding.
5. He likes silly jokes as long as the jokes do not hurt.
6. He like socializing but shy for times.
7. He does what he thinks is right but he love to have others' ideas.
8. He is not a good decision make but he always makes the final decision.
9. He is tough although he doesnt look so. :)
10. He is braver than anyone can imagine.
11. He is cynical for times where depress but get well soon.
12. He loves friends but hate insincere friends.
13. He loves being envied but hates it at the same time.
14. He likes to chat over msn and facebook and always hope that someone will nudge him.
15. He like friends treating him like boyfriend or girlfriend but he never thinks so.
16. He like asking stupid questions and hoping for a clever answers.
17. He has high expectations on everything.
18. He is over sensitive at critical moments but lose his sensory receptors at most of the times.
19. He like guessing between the relationships between friends especially a boy and a girl. xP
20. He thinks a lot when he does something and always want to be perfect.
21. He like friends tell him what he has done wrong to him but not at the back!
22. He hates friends who lie.
23. He felt disappointed when being betrayed.
24. He like truths but is afraid of them.
25. He shares things with someone but hardly be the same one..
26. He always expected a wrong person to do a designated thing for him.
27. He looks for someone who knows him well but does not really want it happens.
28. He acts arrogant but he is warm.
29. He hate coquettish ladies.

and

30. He does not know himself very much.. haha..

Put the blame on it~

i just realised that what i need was not what i wanted...

what i wanted was not what i needed...

choosing the wrong things, wrong persons, wrong options, wrong ways...

perhaps that i wont do the same things in my exam...

why do people get angry?

it can be as easy as abc...

but can be as difficult as solving add math questions...

however, you would never find a perfect solution to solve it~

you could be mad at yourself,

or mad at others.

or both~ or not at all...

Does PMS only exclusive to girls?

maybe there are also syndromes for boys, for all, including those undergo menopause..

mood swings like a ride on roller coaster...

you just could not control it..

PMS is like phenomenon, enveloped your life...

not only for the first few days..

but anytime anywhere....

making lives miserable like they never did...

feeling like wanna jump from school building?

taking extra panadol and enjoying your afterlife?

banging your head against the concrete walls?

stop blaming yourself..

maybe you are one of the victim of PMS!

just find something to blame but never yourself..

blaming others surely make things easier, brighter, wiser, much better....

and the best way for me to expiate my whatever nonsense feelings..

Appreciation~

You would never learn this word unless you have lost something...
As the time goes by, we gain something and of course, we lost something..
while I am tantalized by the new things gained, something seems to be leaving, secretly, unable to be aware of..

I am always told to appreciate the things that i own, but i never see them clearly before I lose them..I would never know their goods, their contributions, their cuteness, unless they are not by my side...

Maybe, it is the path of the life...